Day #30: “uh, we don’t do that any more.”

June 13th, 2014 § 0

10363126_10203319146573713_1600730929757358683_n

Challenge complete! I finished my 30th class at 8:00 tonight. This is, by far, one of the most difficult things I have ever done. Afterwards, I checked in with the office and thanked them for their great instruction and then asked for the tee shirt I had been excited to earn. The paperwork said you would receive a “special” tee shirt when we finished the challenge. They looked at me blankly and said “…..well, we used to do that but we don’t have any tee shirts anymore.” Maybe it was the fact of finishing something so personally challenging or maybe its the full moon but, darn it, I was SO sad to not get a Special Tee Shirt! Some of these classes have been so hard that the thought of that tee shirt would give me a little boost to make it through a class.

When I signed up for the challenge at the front desk I was also encouraged to “write my experiences in a journal”. I have done this quite faithfully throughout this challenge. I abandoned this blog a year or so ago but I decided to commit to writing because I was told it would be helpful to the studio.

During any given 90-minute class, it becomes quite clear that the sheer act of picking up your water bottle and drinking a sip is a SHEER joy and reward, in an of itself. The instructors use this is motivation (“It’s PARTY time! Drink some water!!!). Thinking about that elusive tee shirt became a constant motivation during my challenge. It is incredible how much the idea of that little reward was helpful in getting me through some difficult classes.  NOTE: A friend of mine crafted a shirt for me a month after I finished the challenge!

Day #25: Quiet

June 9th, 2014 § 0

Daily Bikram yoga (finished day 25 of 30 today!) seems to be making me MORE of a homebody than before and THAT is saying something. I notice that I have to carefully conserve my energy, pay a lot of extra attention to hydration and nutrition, make sure to eat during a certain window a few hours before yoga……navigate enormous swings of emotion that this challenge brings out at times. It has been a kind of “boot camp” for me where I am forced to REALLY take care of myself and consider what is going to be nourishing to my body (..mind and soul…) on a much more regular and long term basis. I’m glad I committed to this challenge and feel it will be so helpful as I make some big decisions over the next couple of years.

Day #23: Ready for it!

June 7th, 2014 § 0

Where have I been? PRACTICING YOGA, that’s where!

I want to give a HUGE shout-out to Day #23! Today, my body felt so strong and relaxed. My breathe was calm and focused and I was able to keep up with the ending breathing sequence without even trying. I also completed the ENTIRE sequence without taking a pose or two off to rest. (resting is just fine, by the way, I just didn’t need to today) I didn’t sit out for bow, airplane or even camel pose today.

More soon…..

Day #12 – Just this.

May 28th, 2014 § 0

It WAS too good to be true. I was scammed out of $X00 on Monday. I feel very vulnerable even admitting this. The man who fixed my car, and his family, fit the description of a man/family/truck who have done this to the boss and coworker of one of my friends (I posted about my suspicions on Facebook today and my friend posted right back).

From Facebook: Today I almost gave up, bagged the whole thing! I had to FORCE myself to get in my car and drive down there today after damaging my car in the studio parking lot and then being scammed yesterday by a man who knocked on my door offering to repair the damage. It was an emotional high, feeling as if the Universe put him in the right place at exactly the right time. I’ve been blogging about my 30-day Challenge and I wrote this the day before I was scammed:

“Emotionally: It took my about 1/3 of the class to stop berating myself in my mind for damaging my car. Thoughts kept cycling through my mind (“You are a dumb ass!” “Why can’t you be more careful like everyone else?!” “You don’t have enough money to fix this and you will be poor forever!”, etc…..), some really bad thoughts that made me want to burst into tears. Eventually those thoughts disappeared as the practice continued, thank goodness. I was able to find relief in the fact that I am NOT my car! I am also NOT a dumb ass! What I am is a vehicle owner who will need to figure out a way to pay for a repair. That’s it!”

See, I was actually able to breathe THROUGH the anger and disappointment and I was left with an enormous feeling of trust and comfort and a real sense that I could figure out a way to pay for the repair (my fiances are VERY rough right now…). In effect, I feel I was almost primed for being scammed. I was in the exact right frame of mind to trust. And, then it all went to hell and I wanted to give up on my yoga challenge! But, I did go. It was not a “good” class but I stayed all the way to the end. It’s true, I cried a lot (nobody could tell because everyone is too wet and red anyway:). So, there’s at least THAT – I did not give up. As much as I wanted to, I really knew that everything would still be the same if I went to yoga or if I did not go to yoga. So, may as well go.

Emotionally: Sad and spent.

Physically: Salty and beyond exhausted. After it was confirmed that I was scammed, I have been on the phone with the SLC Police to file a report.

Spiritually: If there is a reason, I’d love to know it!

Day #11 – Are you kidding me???

May 26th, 2014 § 0

Soooooo, I did something today that completely out of character for me. Returning from yoga, I answered my front door and, after a brief conversation with a famly man (his family of 5 kids + wife was in his truck), gave an absolute stranger the go-ahead to repair the dents and scratches on my passenger side doors on my Toyota RAV4. It seemed like such fortuitous timing. After all, my big take-home from yoga yesterday is that I will be able to find a way to pay for my vehicle! I paid him in cash (and fed his family watermelon and cheesy popcorn) for his services and am now wondering if I have been scammed… I will know for sure on Wednesday. All signs point to having been duped…..

Just one last bit about this. After yesterday’s bikram class, I felt OH so invigorated and able to compartmentalize my utter disgust at myself for wrapping my car around the red pole in the bikram parking lot. I had been able to quiet the illusive Monkey Mind! I was able to dive into the deep depths of focus and come out the other side victorious!!! Yay, me! In fact, I was primed and ready for being scammed. Perhaps…..more on Wednesday…..

Physically: I felt quite strong again today. Sit-ups hurt my lower back and I had to be cautious that I was sitting up in a controlled manner and not with a burst of energy, one that might pull or rip something.

Emotionally: Proud and somewhat self righteous that I was able to make it to class again. I notice that I am comparing myself with others in class again.

Spiritually: There MUST be a lesson here somewhere…….